More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children. This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague. You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices , so you write:. Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.
It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion. Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:. Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.
Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights. Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:.
This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague. Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.
Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:.
This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.
This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial.
Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point. Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper.
Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:. Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support. This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related.
A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:. This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. Second, many causes and effects is vague.
You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:. Center for Writing Studies: Quick Links Home Search Contact.
How long does it need to be? In order to write a successful thesis statement: Avoid burying a great thesis statement in the middle of a paragraph or late in the paper. Be as clear and as specific as possible; avoid vague words.
Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinating conjunction i. Would a subordinating conjunction help i. Or do the two statements imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis? If so, settle on one single focus and then proceed with further development. Is your thesis statement too general? Compare this original thesis too general with three possible revisions more focused, each presenting a different approach to the same topic: There are serious objections to today's horror movies.
Because modern cinematic techniques have allowed filmmakers to get more graphic, horror flicks have desensitized young American viewers to violence. The pornographic violence in "bloodbath" slasher movies degrades both men and women. Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that s horror films did. Is your thesis statement clear? In order to be as clear as possible in your writing: Unless you're writing a technical report, avoid technical language.
Always avoid jargon, unless you are confident your audience will be familiar with it. Compare the original thesis not specific and clear enough with the revised version much more specific and clear: Although the timber wolf is a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated.
Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer. Does your thesis include a comment about your position on the issue at hand? Avoid merely announcing the topic; your original and specific "angle" should be clear.
In this way you will tell your reader why your take on the issue matters. In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales and early childhood. Not just empty stories for kids, fairy tales shed light on the psychology of young children.
We must save the whales. Because our planet's health may depend upon biological diversity, we should save the whales. When you make a subjective judgment call, specify and justify your reasoning. Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya. If the government takes over industry in Kenya, the industry will become more efficient. Avoid merely reporting a fact. Say more than what is already proven fact. Go further with your ideas. Otherwise… why would your point matter? Hoover's administration was rocked by scandal.
The many scandals of Hoover's administration revealed basic problems with the Republican Party's nominating process. Is your thesis statement original? The point you make in the paper should matter:
A thesis statement: tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion. is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to .
The thesis statement model used in this example is a thesis with reasons. Even though television can be educational, parents should regulate the amount of television their children watch because it shortens children's attention spans, it inhibits social interaction, and it is not always intellectually stimulating.
If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements: My family is an extended family. This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. What is a thesis statement? Every paper you write should have a main point, a main idea, or central message. The argument(s) you make in your paper should reflect this main idea. The sentence that captures your position on this main idea is what we call a thesis statement. How long does it need to be? A thesis statement focuses your ideas into.
A thesis statement is a sentence that states the topic and purpose of your paper. A good thesis statement will direct the structure of your essay and will allow your reader to understand the ideas you will discuss within your paper. A thesis can be found in many places—a debate speech, a lawyer’s closing argument, even an advertisement. But the most common place for a thesis statement (and probably why you’re reading this article) is in an essay. Whether you’re writing an argumentative paper, an informative essay, or a compare/contrast statement, you need a thesis.